Room One Oh One

The worst thing....


Which differs from person to person; it could be something trivial, something threatening, or something deadly. It doesn't matter. The point is, the individual cannot cope with it, however brave they are.

The worst thing...

In your mind: they are in your mind, they know you better than you know yourself. They have watched you more carefully, thought of you more, tried to understand you more. They care about you more than you do. They want you. They want you like no-one else ever wanted you. Deeply, essentially, they need you so that they can survive. The intimacy is in no way sexual, in every way psychological, spiritual (it takes over all spirituality), ideal (it is every idea you might have).

The worst thing...

They grow like a fungus in your head, until even a thought not about them is about them (Ingsoc in relation to chess - how parasitic is that). Every word is them, every inclination, desire, cumulation, is them. Because they want you so much.

And you open your eyes, and there they are: Room One Oh One.