Gymology

I can hear the calls of my readers desperate to know my current gym-status, after a flurry of pain-related posts a few months back has been followed by total silence on the matter.

Well the biggest problem is the drink. I do 1000 calories in a gym session then I go and drink them back on, with some crisps maybe. I do have muscles, but they are still building on top of the flab, so I am just plain getting bigger all around.

In terms of fitness this is really hard to judge. I still get shooting pains all the way down my arms when i lift weights; still soak the elliptical machine in sweat; and I swear that the rower gave me a heart attack the other day going for a new record time (personal record that is) for the 2000m (it would have been 7.41, but I only managed 7.46).

In practice, if you asked me to, say, play a football match, or run down to the shops for a pint of milk, I'd still collapse in a heap after a few yards. I wonder if that is a pavlovian type reaction, over and above the actual fitness levels of my body. A sort of body-memory of all those years of agonising enforced exercise at the point of a detention. Or maybe I'm not as fit as I think!