Thursday 31 May 2007

A Crap Death

Now far be it from me to condemn anyone's passing into the other world, but today's death of Scott Timmins (aka Stingray) on Neighbours was downright arse. I've nothing against stupid or freakish deaths (like the guy who died while clambering down a cliff face to shag a chicken, or the bloke who had a heart attack while watching a fight between a set of bagpipes and a black pudding on "The Goodies"), but this takes the freakin' biscuit.

Firstly, Neighbours is resolutely secular, even unto refusing Harold a prayer while Stingray committed himself to surgery to save baby Kerry; it is always going on and on about the benefits of secular values like promiscuous sex sans the consequences; but today....Jeez....

Right. Firstly, Stingray, feelin' fine, but saying he'd "sit this one [dance] out" went and sat down and looked lovingly at his family's party. Then, the camera angle swooped to over his head _and rising_, then from that pov the fmaily noticed he was slumped in his chair and they all went over and the credits rolled. For such a secular show to even suggest that some kind of soul or spirit or some such nonsense "rose" out of Stinger (why do religious images suggest that rising is good? We are natural to the lowest point available and being in the air is an abomination) is a massive, massive cop out to an audience, which they believe doesn't do God, but still wants some kind of reassurance that the default position of tv companies is that "souls" or whatever, rise out of dead humans upon their death. Pathetic. If they'd really thought their worldview through they'd've just shown him slump, or sent the screen blank. But not a rising camera angle. Neighbours does not do religion or God, even if Stinger said "say one for me", like my old atheist grandad used to, today in a ghastly, shitheaded act of foreshadowing. This was cowardice, a sop to a society which _still_ has not got past Nietzsche's point about George Eliot: that they have given up the belief, but not the ethics, or sort of, or something.

I mean, how crap was that? A rising camera! Why not go the whole hog and show little fucking angel wings coming up as well?


Yes, I know it isn't real. But still. For goodness' sake. It could be I'm reading too much into a camera angle ascending on someone's death, but I doubt it.



No Stingray, you must die. Die Stingray, die, Stingray, die, die!!!! Hah! Hah! Hah!!!

11 comments:

Liz Hinds said...

Well, what did you expect after the near-death experience of the operating table?

It was a deathly night for soaps: Siobhan died in the Archers.

Shani said...

It is a relief to those left behind in "morning" that Neighbours will now reside on Chanel 5 - at least we don't manage to get that, or fund it !!

Best wishes
Shani

Crushed said...

I think you are watching too many soaps, TD.

It's not real!!

Though, I conced I did used to watch this junk years ago as a student. I found Home and Away MUCH worse.

Bill Haydon said...

I wish people would stop saying that, CBI, of course it is real!! It is television! It must be real....

I had forgotten the NDE bit, Liz, that was rubbish as well, also the stupid sf wedding they had in the hospital was equally crap.

Bag said...

Nice to see you are back and getting down to the important things in life. :)

Liz Hinds said...

Not to mention Izzy. The last we heard of her she was dying (or so we were led to believe) and couldn't have children. Now she pops up in London - at the same time as Karl and Susan - very much alive and pregnant. If this wasn't real, nobody would believe it!

James Higham said...

Angel wings - yes!!! Brilliant idea, TD. I can see you in them now.

Unknown said...

I only wish I could say something intelligent about Neighbours but I'm afraid I cannot. I have however responded to you on Cranmer's blog. Have a look.

Snuffy

Bill Haydon said...

you don't agree with me. Wow. not first, not last.

but you've a long way to go to convince me of the essential lovely fluffly bunniness of the lefty unions.

Bill Haydon said...

Oh, and I have responded to you, but that's all I have to say given you think the onus is somehow on me to prove that lefties can be antisemitic bastards.

Anonymous said...

A death in Kentucky?

I'll get you and your little dog too!