Friday, 19 January 2007

Bloke with a one track mind

*warning, explicit language*

I've just been down the pub and I'm absolutely desperate to lay a cable. I mean, I've got the turtle's head and in fact I think I'm touching cloth. My guts are bursting with ale and crisps, not to mention the rotting remains of last night's dinner, now subsumed in bile and exhumed of water. Man I will enjoy it when I get offline and sit on the karzee: if I'm not careful I'll lay a stone of dog's eggs on my way. I'd better have the matches and the "courtesy noise" ready and some top notch reading material: bloody hell what if there's no khazi paper?? I'd better get some in just in case, but the Eye will do if the worst happens...Oh god, what if it's fizzy gravy instead of a nice fudge? Oh well, time to find out. Jeez, I love emptying my guts: there's nothing like it in the world.

UPDATE: 8.46pm: Well, it was the end of the morning fresh, but a little bit of bathroom origami makes everything alright. Get in!

2 comments:

Ian Grey said...

You should sent it off to John Brown Publishing as a cartoon character idea.

Unfortunately, judging from the adverts in Viz these days, the ironic title would go over most reader's heads...

Morag said...

Am currently having the bathroom redone and for 24 hours have no 'facilities'. Your post could not have come at a worse time as I am just this moment trying to figure out how to create a loo from an M&S carrier bag and a bucket..............