Saturday, 17 May 2008

Crimespeak: A Times Editorial

TD wishes strongwise for ingsocvic, doubleplussoon. He fears crimethink. Comrades, all newthinkers fear crimethink, certainwise. Crimethink is strongful and painful. TD bellyfeels ingsoc but ownlife is doubleplusdifficult stopwise, when crimestop and blackwhite fail. Comrades, we must, speedwise, identify crimethink. It powerwise attacks thinkcentres and bellyfeeling. A goodful sign is facecrime. Comrades, facecrime plus often happens on BB-sight in telescreen pics. BB-sight causes think crime in plusmany persons. Even, comrades, to the unbellyfeeling of ingsoc. Persons, crimethinkers, oldthinkers, Eurasian spies, crimespeak at BB-sight. Not even crimethink, quickwise as that must unexist. Comrades, what is crimespeak? Crimespeak is ungood speaks about BB and Inparty mans and womans. Also Inparty womans AirstripOneoutful. Crimespeak kills Inparty hearts and uncompletes revolution. Unrevolutionwise, childs live hungrywise. Persons are unfree. Crimespeak is ungood words about BB, crimespeak words which make BB painfeel. BB painfeels when crimethinkers address BB insult-wise. Insult-wise speaking reveals crimethinking and capitalist tendencies from the Dale-Staines-Mail-Telegraphite centre. This centre viciouswise owns all speaks. This centre unfeels duckspeaking. This centre wants BB execute fullwise and speedwise. Comrades this certainful is, if Dale-Staines-Mail-Telegraphite centre is unsmashed!! Forward comrades, with TD: execute destroywise capitalist centre and make childs unhungry in revolution!!!

Comrades: Fullminded be of the dayexecutes. Victory Square, 1900. Richard Littlejohn dropful, Polly Toynbee gunhanded beside poles. Bigscreenful, loopwise.

Editorial writed by Magnus Linklater.

with thanks to Inner Party Observer.


Crushed said...

Plusgood write.

TD think doubleplusgood in newspeak.

But I'm suspecting even now a note is pooping out of the tube in Mintru;

'Blog Tin Drummer is written by unperson. Rectify'

The Tin Drummer said...

Oh dear. TD had unthinked that.

No! No! Do it to TD's partner! Do it to her! Not me! Her! Do what you like to her!!!