I don't even like calling beer "alcohol" because it's mainly water but anyway...long term readers of this blog will know that I frequently post when greatly refreshed and that is because it is easier and fun. Being a narcissist I don't really mind if it annoys or inconveniences anyone else. To my mind I think I have only deleted one post that I wrote under the influence - something about religion I think. Oh no, I tell a lie. I think I also outed myself once. That was more of a stealth edit though.
A trawl through some of these old posts reveal the same points being made over and over again (so what's new - it's a blog after all!) as well as a number of loathings and hatreds. This is normal and healthy. One of our modern pathologies is not anger itself but the desperate attempts to delegitimise it, to cure it, to squeeze it out of the personality. Our interest in suppression of this very natural emotion is interesting - I wonder what it's for?
Intriguingly for me there are also hints & guesses that I clearly keep leaving lying around on the pages of this blog. I ought to go through and delete them all, but I haven't the dishonesty. There are things (not evil things or owt like that - just normal stuff) which I just cannot bring myself to face or admit, even to myself, and the blog helps me to valve them out slowly without even knowing it. A diary would not offer me the same protection: I would be a lot more open. Writing a blog is therefore an exercise in social skills for me, as well as in self-absorption, which is maybe not so positive.
That point might seem counter intuitive, given all we hear about the eeeevil rightwing blogosphere - but it's true, for me at least.
This post, for the sake of clarity, was written with absolute sobriety moments before it was published.
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2 comments:
Clarity. Sobriety. Interesting concepts.
Funny you shoul post about this. I guess there are lots of things we don't tell even our friends, but after a long time, a close reader of our blogs would pick them up. They do, in fact. One of my readers, who has read every post, guessed something about me that is implicit if you read VERY closely, but never stated, in my blog. It's actually more an attitude I have, you could even call it a Catholic guilt hang up :)
I wondered about that for a while then I thought I had no idea at all. There is nothing wrong with a guilt hang up - it reminds you that you're not all measure of value, and aren't perfect.
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