Sunday 6 May 2007

You'll Soon Have Ample Scope To Indulge in Melodrama

An advanced liberal democracy somewhere in Europe near the millennium...two candidates for the presidency...one candidate predicts riots, upheaval and unrest if her opponent wins....

Mrs Thatcher? The Valeyard? The Master? The evil Tories exploiting widespread fears of decaying suburbs, immigration and casually demonising their opponents?

No. The compassionate, fluffly, cuddly, inclusive, Socialist candidate for the French presidential election. Just look at the elaborate lengths she's gone to already.

Aha. Of course. Only Tories and other assorted evil right wingers demonise. Left wingers sensibly draw attention to the failings of their opponents....

Oddly enough, the thoughtful, intelligent, compassionate British left has been silent on the appalling tactics employed by Royal in her utterly, totally and utterly failed attempt to win the presidency (that is a mere coincidental occurrence). They have elevated futility to a high art: if Britain had been collapsing into chaos, however, they would have spoken out with the bravery that only the academy can possess. God forbid that the left, anywhere, should engage in any underhand tactics - surely all that has happened is that Royal has clearly and rightly spoken on behalf of France (well, the France that matters, that is)... er...on the other hand, moments such as this should be savoured. There is nothing she can do to prevent the catharsis of spurious morality. She's triggered a ray phase shift.

To disregard Sarko's commands would be to invite summary execution...er...hang on...er...the election will have inflamed his bloated ego....er...

Well, at least the whole system might self-destruct. No. It's too late. And you said it couldn't be immobilised.

I'll tell you this for nowt...you don't catch me going near no more quill pens again...but if Sarko owes France an apology then it is almost certainly not offered...


Am I the first blogger EVER to mix the French Presidential Election and Doctor Who: The Trial of a Time Lord Part Fourteen in the same post? If not, then I am a bit disappointed. It's way better art than the blimming Sugababes and Gary Numan track or whatever rubbish it was.


Switch it off! Switch it off!!



Carrot Juice, carrot juice, carrot juice.

3 comments:

James Higham said...

Doubtless so and a great concept.

Matt M said...

Only Tories and other assorted evil right wingers demonise. Left wingers sensibly draw attention to the failings of their opponents....

Damn straight. Once you realise that, politics becomes a lot clearer. ;-)

To be honest, I haven't noticed any of the decent left-wingers tackling the French elections in a detailed way. Most of them have been too caught up in the local results. (Though I get much of my analysis from bloggers rather than the MSM).

Personally, I found it hard to get excited about either of them.

Bill Haydon said...

Moi aussi, which is why a bit of tomfoolery with Doctor Who was required to jazz it up a bit.