Monday, 5 February 2007

Area Newspaper Harsh on Substitute's Performance

The Cotswold Journal is just that - a journal for the Cotswolds. Its sports reports are mainly those of ultra-non league clubs in the area, like, say Bourton Rovers. These guys are amateurs in the true sense of the word: they play sport because they love it, not for financial reward. They play in front of some trees, and enjoy doing so. Which makes this week's Journal's report on Bourton Rovers somewhat distressing (I imagine) for the local man (whom I vaguely know) who came on as a sub during a recent game. He gets the headline AND a paragraph all to himself.

Payne error causes pain!
By Sportsdesk
Kingswood 2, Bourton Rovers 1 ROVERS travelled to second in the table Kingswood confident of a victory after their six-goal mauling of Huntley seven days earlier.

...However, they still restricted Kingswood to only one effort on target but it was a crucial one as it found the net!

An initial shot was blocked on the line by substitute Mark Payne but, with the ball at his feet, he was caught in two minds and, instead of blasting the ball away, he tried passing it out and it hit a home striker and rolled over the line.

Now far be it from me to correct the work of print journalists but this guy works at something else and plays footie because he likes it. Now he's been embarrassed and humiliated in the local press. You mean bunch of bastards! Here's a new story for you then: "Local Paper's Stupid Reporting Contributes to Obesity Crisis as Area Grown Ups Refuse to be Humiliated by PissPoor Hacks."

What next? My puffing and panting in the gym, as my voluminous stomach wobbles alarmingly? "Drummer's Stomach 'Too Big' Says Local Gym Owner"?

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